Scott Sigler – Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Vampire Movies

From AMC Horror Hacker:  I’ve decided I can completely ignore everything my parents ever taught me. Why should I bother with their boring advice when Hollywood gives me all I need to know? Stupid horror teens imparted many lessons about life, as did those ever-so-reliable monster hunters with their timeless wisdom. But for the more esoteric subtleties, you really must sample the tidbits of insight offered by the ultimate icon of horror movies — the vampire.

Blood Is Thicker than Water

Every family has an idiot. If you can’t think of anyone in your family who’s an idiot, then guess what? That’s right: It’s you, because every family has an idiot. And yet that idiot is still family, so you have to go to bat for them, even if they get mixed up with the wrong people. And yeah, that includes the wrong undead people — just ask poor Seth Gecko in From Dusk Till Dawn. His brother Richard takes him into the mouth of Hell, and Seth goes to bat for him. You can’t always save your idiot relative, but dammit, you gotta try, because blood is thicker than water (and apparently much tastier).

Always Look Fabulous!

Why are all vamps dressed so dang well? Apparently there’s no excuse for not looking sharp, and that includes being dead. What’s up with that, Interview with a Vampire peeps? And what’s with the leather body suits, Underworlders? And do you even need to look beyond Bela Lugosi in the original Dracula to see the devastating effect of a sharp-dressed man? Sure, vampires may rip the throats out of their victims and bathe in blood, but I think it’s clear they’re always wearing clean underwear. Their vamp moms should be so proud!

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via AMC – Blogs – Horror Hacker – Scott Sigler – Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Vampire Movies.